FRIDAY THE 13TH - THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984)

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984)

DIR: JOSEPH ZITO

SYNOPSIS:

After being mortally wounded at the end of PART 3 and taken to the morgue, murderer JASON spontaneously revives and embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at CRYSTAL LAKE.

REVIEW:

Gonna catch some flack for this…

…I don’t rate PART 4. I know, I know, fuck you. I don’t care. I. DON’T. CARE. It takes a thousand years for JASON to make his way from the morgue back to CRYSTAL LAKE and in the meantime, I’m having to listen to CRISPIN GLOVER whine and complain like he’s been friendzoned by reality itself, which is hardly surprising since he’s as awkward and irritating as having to ask a relative to remove the ketchup bottle you’ve intentionally rammed into your asshole. His infamous dance sequence during the movie is more uncomfortable to watch than 9/11 footage and, somehow, only 20% as funny. So fuck CRISPIN GLOVER and fuck the pacing of this movie.

So, what’s good about this flick? Well, there’s still plenty to like if I’m totally honest. TOM SAVINI returns to the franchise on gore effects, CORY FELDMAN makes his first of two appearances as legacy character TOMMY JARVIS, and dishy, 80’s dream-boat PETER BARTON gets massacred in the shower. FUN FACT: this is the last F13 movie to pick up immediately after the events of the film which preceded it. ALSO FUN FACT: I still can’t work out if the line “OH! HE’S KILLING ME!” is heart wrenching or utterly hilarious.

Like I said yesterday, there’s no such thing as a bad FRIDAY THE 13TH movie. I honestly believe that, and that applies just as much to PART 4 as it does to, say, JASON GOES TO HELL; both movies just fail to scratch that itch for me, but if PART 4 is your jam, that’s cool. But fuck CRISPIN GLOVER all the same.

RATING: 🪓🪓